The Hardest Thing

So during service on Sunday I couldn't concentrate. I know it sounds bad but how can I focus on God with all this stuff? It's junk. Well here's what I got:
1 Thessalonians 5:16-Always be joyful.
Right now I am really struggling with this. i have always tried to put a smile on my face despite how I am feeling. I used to be able to do this so easily. When I said I was mad I would be laughing. But lately, within this past month, I've been finding it really hard to smile and laugh. I keep reminding myself of all the blessings God has provided me. I try not to swell on all the bad things that are going on. This stage is also awkward to me because I don't like talking about my problems because I don't like complaining. But I'm learning how to do this. My friend brought up a good point: How can you be vulnerable to God, and the Holy Spirit if you aren't vulnerable to man, living flesh. She said something along those lines, not sure if it was exactly that but pretty close. I don't open up to many people and when I do it is still a little reserved. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 goes on to say Never stop praying. This I have been struggling on too I haven't stopped but I feel like I should be doing it more. I know this is a time of growing. God is preparing me for what I am going to be doing for the rest of my life. I got prayer this morning. One of the ladies kept saying "I'm calling you Bobbi. I'm calling you." It reassured me and, I believe, more confirmation because I believe it was God talking to me through her. She also said more encouragement for me and made tear up. I feel all mucky inside. Kinda like there is moss growing inside me. I don't know what it is but when I start to think about it I get sick. I've been getting sick a lot lately. Not like sick sick where I am bedridden but an upset stomach and I feel like throwing up. I gag but nothing comes out. What do you do when you know you are supposed to be joyful always when you know you are being attacked, physically, mentally, and spiritually? I try not to snap. I really do. But sometimes it just gets to me. Then I feel bad about it after. I ask for forgiveness but then sometimes I turn around and do it again. I really don't

and that is where I ended cause I started to feel really sick. I felt like throwing up again but when I got to the bathroom nothing came up...I know it sounds sick but it feels a lot worse. Its just really hard right now and I know I'm gonna get through this.