My Calling*

Ok so I am still a little uneasy and a bit freaked out by these past couple weeks. So this semester had a rough start, but I was getting by. Well, about 2 weeks ago I started to feel very homesick. I had not yet felt the way I did and I was basically to the point that I wanted to buy a ticket home on the next plane heading home. However, I couldn't because I knew, and I strongly believe, that I was called to Hawaii by God. There would have been no other reason to move out here, except through college. And even that was a blessing. So, anyways, this past year I had a strong desire to go on mission trips that my church was taking its members on. I wasn't able to go because of school and I couldn't financially. Also, one of the trips happened during the same day my sister graduated and I was going home to see my family. Last Friday, Oct. 10, I broke down in front of the prayer team at church. I told Rolo and Corrie my situation and what I was going through. They prayed for me and Rolo got a word for me. He felt God was telling him that I was here for a reason and God had a bigger plan for me. This was very encouraging because I knew it wasn't just me wanting to be here in Hawaii. Later that night after service, I was hanging out and just talking to people. And God totally showed me the love of my church family. I felt so much better and I knew that I had people here who can come as close to family that you can get. Yeah I was still missing my family back home but I have so much here and I just wanted to embrace all that I have going for me here. Then on Sunday, after church and watching a movie, I came home. I called my mom and broke down again. I talked to her for almost 2 hours. This was when I wanted to buy a ticket home but I couldn't cause the words God spoke to me through Rolo were echoing in my ear. Well I found out some news that I had no idea would correspond to what I was about to tell my mom. I told her I wanted to become a full time missionary. I was a little shocked at myself for saying it because I wasn't sure if this was something I should be doing now and I hadn't prayed about it like at all. We came to a decision. I was going to take a break, and please don't say dropped out because I am still figuring this out, from school and just work. So as of last Tuesday Oct. 14 I am not enrolled in school. I am going to be working and saving up money to go on a mission trip by hopefully next summer. I am not sure on where I am going but I am praying about it and waiting for God to tell me where He needs me. I am still going to be living in Hawaii and I am going to be trying a few things out. This past Friday, the 17th, was an amazing night at church. I got to talk to Issac, on of my friends on the prayer team. I got to tell him what was going on in my life and about the decision I had just made. He was so encouraging. Then during the prayer team meeting I told Rolo. So I got some more prayer and I got another word from Rolo, which was very convicting. As we were praying for each other, the chairs, the service, and the worship band, I had this strong feeling that the service was going to be good; no not good, awesome. God was already moving, He always is, but tonight was different. There was a guest speaker that night and I had no idea what the service was going to be about; the church usually sends out an email on what the service is going to be on but since it was a guest speaker they just say that you are going to be blessed by what they have to say, and boy were they not joking this week. The speaker was Paul Risser, an amazing pastor. The entire service, and I mean entire, Issac was like see, that was just what I was telling you. OMG!! And how it was. It's hard to condense his sermon because if I talk about it I'm going to talk about the entire thing. (You can search Hope Chapel Kaneohe Bay on the Podcast section of iTunes and listen to this weekend's service to hear it. I STRONGLY recommend that you listen to it because it will touch your heart and really speak to you.) God totally spoke to me through the sermon and I was so shocked. Not that He used someone to speak to me but that they were just the words I needed to hear, and just needed. After the service, and during, I was like ok, this decision of taking some time off and seeing about becoming a missionary, is something I really want to do. As I was up on stage praying for people and waiting for more people to come up for prayer, one of my friends came up to me. At first we were just talking but then me and Rolo prayed for him and after we were done he asked if he could pray for me. Which I was really surprised because I wanted more prayer but I didn't know who I should asked cause I had already asked the prayer team and I had vaguely asked my mini church. Dan was part of the group in mini that I had asked but I barley know him; I actually meet him last week Friday Oct. 10, but he is one of those friends that I feel like I have know for like ever. Thank you Dan. So yeah right now I am still not settled but I think that God is going to use this time to help me grow. If you took the time to read this thank you so much for listening to me. Also, if you can be praying for me during this time. I will try to post some updates but if it has been awhile and you haven't heard anything just ask and I will be glad to let you know. Well I hope you have and awesome day, week, month, and year.

p.s. If you have any prayer requests feel free to message me and I would be glad to pray for you.

*this was actually written on October 19, 2008. I was a little late on posting it.